[chicangel]

An eldery patient gets hearing aids from a doctor. After short time, he meets the doctor again.
Doctor, "Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased."
Patient, "Oh, I am in a funny situation now. I haven't told my family yet. I just sit and listen to their conversations. In a month, I've changed my will three times!"

[chicangel]

Tony had just finished reading a new book entitled, 'You Can Be The Man of Your House.'
He stormed to his wife in the kitchen and announced, 'From now on, you need to know that I am the man of this house and my word is Law. You will prepare me a gourmet meal tonight, and when I'm finished eating my meal, you will serve me a sumptuous dessert.
After dinner, you are going to go upstairs with me and we will have the kind of sex that I want. Afterwards, you are going to draw me a bath so I can relax. You will wash my back and towel me dry and bring me my robe.
Then, you will massage my feet and hands. Then tomorrow, guess who's going to dress me and comb my hair?'
His Sicilian wife Gina replied, "The ******* funeral director would be my first guess."

[chicangel]

Lecturer: U Idiots ! At your age Einstein ranked first in class, What about u?

Students : Sir at your age Hitler committed suicide ... !!!! What about u sir???

[chicangel]

Husband Programmer

A wife tolds a husband (programmer) to go to supermarket saying: "Go for buns and if they have eggs as well, take 10 of them." Husband goes to the shop and asks: "Do you have eggs?" Salesman : "Yes, of course" Husband: "Well, so give me 10 buns, please."

I hope you understand this joke :P